Hello, 2015!

If there is one thing about me, it is that I am a hugely sentimental person.

Naturally, at the start of a new year, I can't help but reflect back on the previous year and see lots and lots of growth. Then I think through the months ahead, and wonder.

I wonder what great things will happen that aren't expected.

I wonder about summertime and taking my little Sahara to the playground, and grilling in the backyard.

I wonder about holidays, and the memories we will make.

I wonder about tough times that are sure to come, and the growth that will take place.

I wonder about what life will be like 365 days from today.

For some reason, I feel a great big "push" as the new year has come once again, to make things happen. So 365 days from today, I will look back, and be proud of my accomplishments. 

As I have felt this push, I have thought about my "word" of the year. For 2014, my word was "Trust." It's funny, because there has never been a year when I had to trust more in my beliefs and the strength that comes from faith. 2014 proved to be a wonderful year, a trying year, and boy, did I ever learn to trust with everything I am.

The word I have chosen for 2015 is "Refine."

There are so many things I juggle.

I juggle being a cook, artist, seamstress, blogger, wife, mother, employee, sister, daughter, friend and so many other things.

Some days, I am certain that I drop each of those roles right on their heads.

It is my hope, that 2015 will refine me in these roles.

I am ready to jump into 2015 and achieve my goals.

Is 2015 ready for me?

See Ya Later, 2014

Where does the time go?

I am still scratching my head trying to figure that one out.

But in the meantime, we will roll with it.

2014 was so, so good to us!

I cannot remember a year where we worked harder, or had happier days. Funny how those two things go together like peanut butter and jelly...

This last year, we got our elbows dirty, and on top of my work and Josh's schooling, we reupholstered our couches to the most perfect color of gray possible. I'm really glad I love them as much as I do, I don't want to dive into another one of those "endless staples" projects for a long, long time...).

We celebrated our third wedding anniversary!

We refinished our kitchen cabinets to a bright, bright, white, and painted most of the main floor of the house.

Josh took school through the summer-ready for a break much? In between summer classes we played hard and had lots of fun. 

Our little munchkin turned TWO! Once again, where does the time go? 

I made the big change from brunette to blonde-loving it!

Thanksgiving came and reminded us just how much we have to be thankful for.

Then by the time Christmas rolled around, we couldn't explain those blessings.

After those highlights of the year, throw in lots and lots of happy days, smiles, belly laughs, tickles, a few tears, some sleepless nights, elbow grease, and of course some chocolate, THAT is our year.

2014 was so good to us! We grew in so many ways I didn't expect, but I wouldn't trade those times for anything!

So 2015, are ya ready? We are!

From Me, To You

The other night, as Josh and I walked down the hall with our sweet, two-year-old on my hip, I felt like I was 60 minutes past my bedtime. It had been a long day and I was ready for the house to wind down. 

My head had a dull ache, and I was sure there just had to be a small elephant sitting on my back.

Then, a few steps into our journey to Sahara's bedroom, she whispered "love you mama."

It was one of those palpable moments as a parent, where you can feel your baby's emotions, perfectly.

That girl was sucking her right thumb, while her left hand was twirling my hair as we walked.

She could tell I was nearing the end of my rope, let's be honest, she is good at that.

But in that palpable moment, I felt a little tiny weight lift off my shoulders.

I was doing something right.

I had taught that little girl what it means to have empathy.

The rubber hit the road.

I am so thankful for all that she teaches me, day-in and day-out. There is nothing like living and seeing the way your child does, I wouldn't trade that for anything.

So, next time you are rushing down the hall with a baby, two blankies (no more, no less), a sippy cup, a dripping toothbrush, and a headache fit for a king, remember that your rubber is hitting the road. Don't doubt that you are making a difference, you are teaching, loving, doing, just where you are needed most. 

How thankful I am for this sweet reminder from a sweet girl.

Becoming "Mom."

Good grief, a two-year-old? How?

Time really has flown by and left us sitting in a heap wondering what just happened.

October 26th, our sweetie turned two! 

Words cannot express the love we feel for her, she is a pure joy to parent and raise. We have our moments of pushing boundaries, refusing peas, or momentary lapses in emotional control (Sahara...), but when we make up, she wraps her arms around my neck and she whispers "sorry mommy," that is what makes it all worthwhile. This age, hands down, is my very favorite. Sahara is a sweetheart and I am so proud of the little person she is becoming.

I am so thankful for this girl, she has changed me, made me better, molded me into the mother she needs me to be. I remember before she was born, I wondered if I would physically bounce back after she was born, little did I know, that isn't what I needed to worry about.

She has changed the very person I am. 

In the moments of stress and change, I didn't understand what she was molding me into.

I fought it. Hard. 

But now, I wouldn't change it for anything.

Hindsight really is 20/20.

She has made me the mom that I never expected to become.

One that checks her baby's breathing at least twice before bed.

One that cuts her food into eye-rolling small pieces.

One that lets her trip over herself at the playground.

A mother that allows her to teach herself when it is possible.

A mother that holds her hand.

One that hugs her baby enough for 7 children.

One that works when it isn't easy, to teach her daughter that this is important.

A mother that I wouldn't recognize if I didn't see her in the mirror every day.

Most days, it is so easy for me to overlook all this spunky 2-year-old has given me.

But, I am so thankful for her. More than words could ever begin to explain. 

So, Miss Sahara, happy birthday once again. 

I am so incredibly blessed to be your mother.

Keep Holding On

As we are neck deep in parenting our toddler these days, often I draw parallels between parenting our daughter and life's lessons.

I have these times daily.

Sahara will be excited to get somewhere, or she wants something, but for her safety, or ultimately, her happiness, she needs to hold my hand. When we take the mail out in the mornings, when we are walking across the crosswalk, getting groceries, in crowds, she holds my hand. 

It isn't an option in my mind, for her safety, this is the deal. She can walk if she wants, but no letting go or running ahead of mom.

This isn't to say she doesn't try.

She tries! Then she becomes frustrated, usually I can reason with her and remind her why it is important and neccessary to hold my hand. Only with these constant reminders, she will calmly keep her sweet little grip on my hand.

Sometimes in life when we want to "run ahead," we are prompted that "this isn't the time, keep holding on."

At times like these, I become frustrated just like my toddler does. It is human I guess.

I think one reason we get frustrated in these situations, is because we can't see the whole picture. We don't fully understand why we are being told "no," or "not yet."

So, this is where I am trying to take a page out of my toddler's book. 

To trust and to be content with these answers. Trust that the answers we recieve are for our own good, for our safety, and our happiness.

One thing that undeniably influences my daily life is my faith, and my dedication to our our church. Take this as a grain of salt, weather you believe in a God, or not. This is part of me and it brings me so much happiness. 

I am thankful for our Heavenly Father that loves each one of us enough to show interest in each of our lives. I am thankful that he doesn't give up on me, when I ask him as many times as my toddler asks me. He doesn't become frustrated, he just answers just as he did before. He sees the whole picture, he knows what we need individally. I am so thankful for this!

I do not write this because I have mastered patience in His timing, but because I am horribly impatient. I am working on it, slowly. I need reminded and I am thankful for this outlet to do so.

For anyone else that is less than perfect at patience, it is my hope that we can work together and remind ourselves to "keep holding on," to trust, trust that our patience will, in the end, bring joy.

A Reminder

Most of what I write, I feel foolish for writing. All of these ideas and views are my own, and they are mostly for me. I feel foolish because often I feel that why should I, the imperfect wife, mother, and woman, be preaching to the choir, who has probably already figured this out one hundred times over. 

These are my reminders and my inspirations, I am still a student in these things that I write.

I named this blog "Today Find Joy" to reflect my my daily desire to be glad. To be glad when the bumps in the road come and to be glad over mundane happenings. This is one of those times, I need reminded to be happy, to find joy in my circumstances.

One of our church leaders, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, speaks of this, being happy now.

"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.

The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness.

We do matter. We determine our happiness.

Sometimes in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the journey. I don’t go cycling with my wife because I’m excited about finishing. I go because the experience of being with her is sweet and enjoyable.

Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?

Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition.

We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. 

Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."

I love these words of encouragement, who eats a piece of pie only in anticipation of that last, delicious, bite? Who takes the kids to the park, waiting for that last trip down the slide? Who tickles the baby, wishing for the last belly-laugh of the day? 

Why is it that we anticipate the next "step" of life?

Why not be happy right now?

Life really isn't supposed to be enjoyed only in retrospect. 

Let's enjoy it right now. Even when the babies are teething and the work is taxing and the bills are coming and the wife is uptight and the husband is stressed and the dishwasher is broken and the car needs repaired and the kids are fighting and the nights are long.

Sometimes, these things all come at once. It is frustrating and hard and discouraging. But what does wishing them away acomplish? 

How disappointing life would become if we spent our days wishing for the next horizon only to find happiness was around us the whole time. Like missing the fireworks and not realizing it until after the show. 

Let's not miss the show. We might have to look for it, even search, but it is happening all around us.

Catch-Up

Whew, where has this last week gone? 

It has been pretty busy at our house, Josh finished school for the summer *applause* I am so proud of him! This was a big sacrifice for our family, most of the time I felt like I was losing my mind, but 8 more credits in the bag. That will relieve some stress in there long run, so I would say it was very much worth it. This means that guy will only have four more weeks off of school this summer, until next. Whew.

It is a new adjustment for us, now he  is home when Sahara wakes up in the mornings, so that part of our day isn't as stressful. It is amazing what those couple extra hours of having him home does for my stress level-works wonders.

I guess that is one thing that is constant about life, things are always changing. But if they weren't, what fun is that? When these changes come to us, I am reminded of my "2014 word," trust. These changes are scary sometimes, but they bring good things. They stretch us and teach us. They keep us humble.

Speaking of changes...

I am over the moon! 

This was something I have put off too long, something I have wanted to do, but there was always an excuse. The kitchen is so much brighter, happier, cleaner, all that good stuff. It probably comes in second for "hardest, most time-consuming, DIY/home projects," second to reupholstering our two couches...that my friends, was pain. But, these two projects were hands down the most rewarding to do. I am seeing that a lot in life, things that are hard, are usually the most "worth it" things we could be doing. Let's be honest, I'm not complaining that these are behind me! Lessons learned, good times, and now if I ever choose to do these projects again, I know they are worth it.

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Everyone who is great started somewhere. Whatever we are trying to be "great" at, whether that be at motherhood, womanhood, being a wife, doing the laundry, or hey, even just making sure that the Cheerios aren't smashed into the carpet at the same time as the Apple Jacks, we all start somewhere.

Why not just start right where we are at?

Right. Here.