A Reminder

Most of what I write, I feel foolish for writing. All of these ideas and views are my own, and they are mostly for me. I feel foolish because often I feel that why should I, the imperfect wife, mother, and woman, be preaching to the choir, who has probably already figured this out one hundred times over. 

These are my reminders and my inspirations, I am still a student in these things that I write.

I named this blog "Today Find Joy" to reflect my my daily desire to be glad. To be glad when the bumps in the road come and to be glad over mundane happenings. This is one of those times, I need reminded to be happy, to find joy in my circumstances.

One of our church leaders, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, speaks of this, being happy now.

"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness: a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial.

The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don’t really matter or determine our happiness.

We do matter. We determine our happiness.

Sometimes in life we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to find joy in the journey. I don’t go cycling with my wife because I’m excited about finishing. I go because the experience of being with her is sweet and enjoyable.

Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?

Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition.

We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. 

Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."

I love these words of encouragement, who eats a piece of pie only in anticipation of that last, delicious, bite? Who takes the kids to the park, waiting for that last trip down the slide? Who tickles the baby, wishing for the last belly-laugh of the day? 

Why is it that we anticipate the next "step" of life?

Why not be happy right now?

Life really isn't supposed to be enjoyed only in retrospect. 

Let's enjoy it right now. Even when the babies are teething and the work is taxing and the bills are coming and the wife is uptight and the husband is stressed and the dishwasher is broken and the car needs repaired and the kids are fighting and the nights are long.

Sometimes, these things all come at once. It is frustrating and hard and discouraging. But what does wishing them away acomplish? 

How disappointing life would become if we spent our days wishing for the next horizon only to find happiness was around us the whole time. Like missing the fireworks and not realizing it until after the show. 

Let's not miss the show. We might have to look for it, even search, but it is happening all around us.

Catch-Up

Whew, where has this last week gone? 

It has been pretty busy at our house, Josh finished school for the summer *applause* I am so proud of him! This was a big sacrifice for our family, most of the time I felt like I was losing my mind, but 8 more credits in the bag. That will relieve some stress in there long run, so I would say it was very much worth it. This means that guy will only have four more weeks off of school this summer, until next. Whew.

It is a new adjustment for us, now he  is home when Sahara wakes up in the mornings, so that part of our day isn't as stressful. It is amazing what those couple extra hours of having him home does for my stress level-works wonders.

I guess that is one thing that is constant about life, things are always changing. But if they weren't, what fun is that? When these changes come to us, I am reminded of my "2014 word," trust. These changes are scary sometimes, but they bring good things. They stretch us and teach us. They keep us humble.

Speaking of changes...

I am over the moon! 

This was something I have put off too long, something I have wanted to do, but there was always an excuse. The kitchen is so much brighter, happier, cleaner, all that good stuff. It probably comes in second for "hardest, most time-consuming, DIY/home projects," second to reupholstering our two couches...that my friends, was pain. But, these two projects were hands down the most rewarding to do. I am seeing that a lot in life, things that are hard, are usually the most "worth it" things we could be doing. Let's be honest, I'm not complaining that these are behind me! Lessons learned, good times, and now if I ever choose to do these projects again, I know they are worth it.

Something I have been thinking a lot about lately. Everyone who is great started somewhere. Whatever we are trying to be "great" at, whether that be at motherhood, womanhood, being a wife, doing the laundry, or hey, even just making sure that the Cheerios aren't smashed into the carpet at the same time as the Apple Jacks, we all start somewhere.

Why not just start right where we are at?

Right. Here.

Enough

"You aren't enough." 

That voice whispers to us when that is the last thing we need.

When the babies are crying, the phone is ringing, someone is knocking at the door, your toddler is asking for a snack, you just stubbed your toe running for the door AND the phone, a diaper needs changed, cheerios are being mashed into the carpet, you feel like you are about to lose your marbles, and then you hear it: "You aren't doing enough. You aren't spending enough time with the kids. You aren't running fast enough. You don't look like you are put together. You aren't enough."

I don't write this because I have mastered drowning out that voice, but because that voice is very familiar to me. 

Do you hear it too, occasionally? Daily? Too often?

Why is it that sometimes we sabotage ourselves with these voices. Why do we give them time to creep in? Why do we listen and believe?

You ARE enough.

You are enough when you are doing your very best with what you have. You are enough when you have been run ragged. As much as we wish, we can't do it all. 

Whoever you are, whatever your role is in life, you are enough. If you are a single mom, single woman, full-time, part-time, no-time worker, if you feel you aren't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, social enough, you are enough. If you feel forgotten, or looked over, you are worth it. 

I used to beat myself up quite a bit about working full-time and being a mom full-time. I felt guilty about spending time with Sahara- the office was neglected. I felt guilty about doing my office work- my daughter was neglected. I stressed, I tried to do it all. I ran myself ragged I cried, I was at the end of my rope.

Then it hit me:

You are enough.

 You are enough when you are doing the very best you can. Don't expect anything over and above that. Do your best and nothing more.

Whatever it is that is running you ragged, whatever weighs you down like a ton of bricks, don't let it. Don't expect more than you can give.
Then, we will be enough.

Our 4th of July

(Mid-yawn picture courtesy of Miss S...)

Our 4th was lovely!

But when are 3-day weekends not lovely?

No school for 3 days. No work for 3 days. What a treat!

We took full advantage and went to our local parade, it is always a winner.

These two were very interested in whatever was driving by at the time!

It was so good to see Sahara wanting Josh to hold her...or "holdu." Normally on weekends, she is a little freaked out that he is around so she is extra clingy to me, but this weekend-did I mention it was perfection? She remembered him and wanted him, two thumbs up!

Sahara was so excited about the lights, sounds, music, and candy that seemed to fall from the sky. It was adorable to see her dancing around, clapping, and throwing in a random line from her ABC's or Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star...that started when she saw that she and mommy had matching star shirts. 

This was the first 4th of July parade, just the three of us, it was so good to be with these two and celebrate our freedom. I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed when the men with bagpipes walked by, we are so blessed and I know I take that for granted.

After the parade, we headed to my parent's cabin to spend time together as a family, the cherry on top of our weekend!

I hope you all had a lovely holiday filled with lots of food, family, fun, and fireworks!

                     

The House and the Railcar

I have been thinking lately about life and the turns it takes.

Each of us lead completely different lives. Most are not even similar when it comes down to what makes us, as a person. Each of us are made of bricks-bricks of likes and dislikes, interests, experiences, backgrounds, trials, accomplishments, standards, morals and so on. No two of us have matching stories. Each of us has  different and unique "house" made of these bricks.

There is a common story of two railcars, that when one switch is flipped on the railroad track, those two cars end up hundreds, or even thousands of miles apart. 

The same is with us.

I take a step in one direction, you take a step in another direction. We lead completely different lives. Our lives are ours to own, create, live. That is what makes life so beautiful, we build or own "house" of life all on our own.

I have made goals for my family, for myself. Once those goals are created, what do we do with them? Do we write them and place them on a bathroom mirror only to never touch them again? Do we leave them on a shelf only to collect dust? Do we even rely on others to make those dreams come alive? Or do we put in the work, take one step at a time, live through the sweat, tears, and heartache, and make those dreams a reality?

You have your trials that have shaped and molded you, I have mine. It is what we do with these stepping stones of life that determines the strength of our "house."

I don't have to look very far in my life to see examples of people who took those misshapen, hardened stones, and made them bricks of incredible strength. Those examples have so much to give, so much encouragement inside. They are people who have truly taken their trials in stride, and didn't give up on their goals, or where they wanted their railcar to be headed. Through these examples, I can see that these trials have given direction, direction for good. 

Do you know anyone like this? What is their story? What footprints are they leaving behind?

As I think of this "house" I am creating, I am thankful. I am thankful for the bricks made of me and who I am. I am thankful for the bricks laid in place with laughter, and tears, and struggle. I am thankful for those that were simply given to me as trials, when I didn't see them coming. Trials that landed on my shoulders. I am thankful for the strength to lay them down, and hopefully, build up my house with those misshapen rocks.

What will you do? Keep that trail or hardship on  your shoulders to carry around? Or lay it down in that great house you are building and use it as a stepping stone?

Our lives are all different. We all build a different house. Every day we have the chance to change the direction our lives are heading. At the end of the day, it is our responsibility alone to own where our railcar is headed. It is my hope that, just as these thoughts have reminded me, we may be reminded: If it is time to flip that switch, do it.