A Mother's Purpose

Today, I am so thankful for this sweet girl of mine.

Nothing brings the kind of joy that comes from being a mother. 

I have found that once you step across that invisible line in the sand to motherhood, the world has a lot to say about it. It usually doesn't have enough good to say about it either.

But let me tell you, nothing compares.

I must admit, I have never been the kind of mom that was eager to be away from her child. 

Often I have thought about how silly or strange this is, but there is no where in this world I would rather be, than with her.

This doesn't mean that I don't loooove having Josh around in the evenings with his extra set of hands (and let's be honest, an extra set of feet is nice...), but I have never been excited to be away from her.

Maybe i'm crazy. I probably am.

The thought of leaving her makes my stomach leap into my throat, my heart races, sometimes I tear up.

Since she was a newborn, I have hated it, and there are few things in life I hate.

This girl makes every second worth it.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my purpose here, in this life. I have been hoping, wishing, and praying that I am on the right path, helping those I was sent here to help, lifting and inspiring. I'm a mother to my daughter. That is beyond compare. This is my purpose.

The world might say that when a woman enters into motherhood, she gives up so much. I have found that I have gained more than I could have ever given. 

If you have reached this point in reading, thank you for putting up with my sappiness, just some reflections that have been heavy on my heart. Now, if you have babies, go hug them. Remember that on bad days, or even the horrible days, there is nothing greater you could be doing in this moment.

A Sanity Saver

You probably know the day:

Babies wake up early, in a grouchy mood.

Mom is in a grouchy mood.

Dad is out the door before you know it.

Mom scratches her head wondering "how on Earth will we all survive the day?"

It happens to the best of us.

I remember shortly after Sahara was born, I was stressed. Stressed to the max.

My mom gave we the wise advice to stop trying to do it all, because it was okay that it wasn't all going to happen.

This bit of advice changed my mothering, and I still think of this many times a day:

stop trying to do it all, just stop.

I am the type that needs to have some control. So when our day starts off, or even starts inching toward mayhem, I stress.

My throat gets tight and my breathing gets faster. I lose my patience, too much.

Motherhood has taught me that sometimes, I just need to let go.

Stop worrying.

Roll with things.

Because of my Mother's advice to be oaky with things not getting done, I have learned (albeit slowly) that when S needs me, it is okay.

Okay to drop what I'm doing, in more circumstances than not, and to play. 

It has helped me so much to channel that stress into something like laughing, or making Sahara laugh.

I have found that when I use this advice, our day can quickly go from mayhem to harmony, crying, to laughing and playing. It is a sanity saver.  

So, thank you Mom, for that wise advice, that dishes can wait a minute, laundry can be folded at naptime, and floors can be swept, mopped, and vacuumed when I am not needed by little hands reaching and grabbing to be held. 

I am so thankful for this advice, it makes for a much happier mom, and baby at this house.

In Your Own Skin

We have all heard that saying, "variety is the spice of life."

What if there were only one flavor of ice cream?

What if there were only one color of lipstick?

What if every day was sunny?

What if everyone had the same personality, or view, or opinion?

What if we all had the same hair style?

Life would be pretty darn boring.

We would never get to try that new flavor of ice cream, heaven knows, this house loves the Tillamook Fireside S'more ice cream...

We would never be daring and try out that bright red lipstick.

We would never know what a good rainstorm smells like.

We would never be thankful for those people that expand our views and opinions.

We would never be able to try out that new hair color or cut our bangs to see how we like them.

Boring, right?

I think I have always been a people pleaser, I don't mind that about myself, but in hindsight, I see times in my life when it is okay, human, and good to be different. To have different views and do different things. This is a new goal of mine, to not just blend in and agree because it is easy.

Have you done this? Too much, like me?

It is my thought that we, as women, put so much pressure on ourselves to "fit in." But why not stand out? Why do we do this to ourselves?
I am not a pro at this, but I am finding, that it is so freeing and empowering to just. be. yourself.

Color outside the lines.
Think outside the box.
Pop on that bright lipstick.
Wear that "different" blouse.
Don't just "fit in."
How will we ever inspire those people we were sent here to inspire, if we are just, fitting in?

Life is so much more fun with colorful m&m's.

Think of how much we can gain from the knowledge we share and from our opinions and from the things we love that not everyone else "loves."

I am thankful for differences. I am thankful for weaknesses, life would be boring without something to work towards.
I am thankful for strengths that I was given to help others, that is my greatest desire.

Joy comes from being content with where you stand.
Be content in your own skin.
Find joy in your own skin.
It is yours, after all.

Disclaimer

When I first started hearing that whisper to start a blog, I could think of too many reasons not to.

Who will care?

Who will read it?

What will I write?

I have always felt a pull towards writing-my husband claims I should be an English Major by the way I can whip out papers. But then I would have to learn all the rules, so what is the fun in that?

So after thinking of all the reasons to not create this space to share my thoughts and feelings, I still got the itch.

So here we are, friends.

Inside my mind I have so many thoughts and feelings swirling. They all need some weight to hold them down. 

That is where the blog comes in.

For my thoughts, for my feelings, for my fears, my success and my stumbling blocks in life. 

To document, to remember, to be thankful and to find the joy in life.

That being said, I'm not perfect. I'm not fancy, I'm ordinary. I don't mind, this was the life I was given. Simple makes me happy, white and gray walls make me happy. The simplicity in the day makes me feel grounded. I'm probably not exciting, but hopefully I can inspire.

These thoughts are mine.

A woman who stumbles every day, who sometimes burns dinner, and who usually doesn't have a spotless house.

These words will have as many flaws as I do, but they are mine!

These words won't be perfect, because they are mine!

These words will give my thoughts and feelings a weight to hold them down, they are mine, and now I share them with you.

Sweet Summer

Summer is the sweetest, isn't it? I will probably say that about fall, and winter, and spring next time they roll around...but for now, summer is definitely the sweetest.

I love the warm sun, swimming with my not-so-little-baby that probably would have been just fine if she had been born a fish instead of a human. 

I love the scent of sunscreen and the sun-kissed cheeks of Sahara as she laughs and plays in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.

The 4th of July, trips to the park, evening dashes as a family to grab a snow cone...Summer is lovely.

I am finding that this summer is even sweeter than last summer, now that S can enjoy the warm weather, and appreciate running errands without our winter coats. Whenever we step out to the yard, she is begging for the "wadee," (aka:water but she is really asking for the hose...) and as soon as I turn the hose on, she will promptly be watering my flowers, the grass, the sidewalk, and her ponytail. Why not?

The last few semesters, Josh has had a decent amount of night classes. So not only would we rarely see him during the day, we also wouldn't see him at night. I am thankful that even though he is gone long before S wakes up, we at least get him in the evenings. Everything is funner with that guy around.

One thing that I plan on focusing on more this summer, is slowing down, taking a breath of the hot summer air, and enjoying these moments. I have been remembering this last year, which was Sahara's first year, looking back on the time that has since passed, and I realize I have not been soaking up these precious moments as I should be. So, more pictures, more memories, more work, but also more fun. I am thankful for that, the ability to soak up these moments with my toddler and my husband.

Just Watch

I remember the days when I was a kid, and how "growing up" was one of the most exciting things. I would sit and dream about what my husband would be like, and what my kids would be like, what car I would drive and where we would live. Spoiler alert: growing up isn't always what it is cracked up to be.

Now, as a  young adult, I like to stop for a second and watch my daughter. Just watch.

Watch her breathing, thinking, learning, exploring.
Watch her taste the gravel from our flower beds (and heaven knows, at least one fist full of sand).
Watch her looking at the birds and feel the wind on her face.
Or sometimes, I catch her doing things without thinking, like dunking her head in her swimming pool or running with no where to go.
I watch her pick up her dolls and say "mama rock!" And I watch her watch me as I start to rock her babies and sing to them, much the same as I did to her when she was much smaller.

In those moments that I can see her watching me, not just looking, but really watching, I feel such a burden to teach her by example. After all, those are some of the best memories I have, watching, and learning from my mother.

In those moments, I remember the thoughts I have had that growing up isn't what I envisioned 90% of the time, but that it is much, much greater, happier, harder, and sweeter than I could ever comprehend.

So, Miss Sahara, thank you. Thank you for teaching me and helping me grow. Thank you for making me laugh and cry and think and imagine with you. Thank you for making me see beyond myself to the bright eyes of a girl who I would give anything for.

To My Husband

To my husband, Happy Father's Day. Thank you for stepping into fatherhood with so much ease that you looked like a natural from day one. You have amazed me, Mr. Pettet. I am thankful that our daughter has such a loving, caring, father. 

From the moment we brought our sweet newborn home, you have been a guiding and protecting hand to her. I see the love you two share, and I know that there is no greater bond than between a parent and child. Nothing is better than when daddy walks in the door after a long day. Nothing is better than watching you chase and tickle that girl until she can hardly breathe. 

I am so thankful that you are my partner in crime through this craziness of parenthood.

Thank you for being my confidant, my therapist, my best friend, and my husband. We love you more than words!

These girls are so, so, blessed.

The Woman That...

I am the woman that still feels like a young girl at heart.
I'm not scared to laugh, to cry and to feel. Sometimes this gets me in trouble, but I am thankful.

I am the woman that plans.
I plan for this afternoon, and for the evening. I plan for tomorrow. I plan for next week. I plan even when I know that plan may not happen. I plan for the unexpcted and the expected. I plan for others. I plan for myself and for my family.

I am the woman that loves.
I love my my family more than I ever thought possible. I love the promise that I can be with them forever. I love my Father in Heaven for giving me this crazy, beautiful, life I live. I love yellow, chocolate, shoes, cosmetics, and good deals. I love the smell of the mountains, I love this beautiful Earth we have been given. I love the opportunity we have to start over, move on, make things right and begin again. I love the promise of tomorrow.

I am the woman that dreams.
I dream of a happy, healthy, family. I dream of motherhood. A family that knows that I love them without thinking for one second. I dream of hiding under covers and kisses from a dirty face. I dream of chubby toes and soft, sweet smelling hair. I dream of cries for "mommy," and "la-loo's." I dream of matching socks and putting pigtails in hair. I dream of this life of motherhood. I dream of being a wife and making dinner to a waiting famiy. I dream of companionship. I dream of long talks and hand holding. I dream of growing old but not growing up.

I am the woman that cares.
I care to a fault. I care until I have dug myself into a ditch only to climb out of it. I care for the stranger and for the friend. I care most for those who care for me.

I am the woman that worries.
I worry about yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I worry about the small things and the bigs things, the things I should worry about and the things I shouldn't. I worry, too much.

I am the woman that works.
I work for my little family. I work to "bring the bacon" and to keep us comfortable. I work to be independent. I work so my husband and I can create this life we live, on our own. I work because though it may be hard, it brings great satisfaction. I work to teach my daughter the importance of responsibility and perseverance. I work because I love them.

I am the woman that searches to find joy.
I find joy in this life we live. I find joy in my upbringing, in my family. I find joy in giggles and kisses from my husband. I find joy in sharing and smiling. I find joy in tomorrow and the day after. I search to find joy today.

The Birth of the Blog

As some may remember, I started a craft blog in 2011. Josh and I were newlyweds, I crafted, lots. Those were the days of just he and I doing what we pleased. I loved that blog! I loved and still love crafting. But shortly after Sahara was born, my heart grew 12 sizes with love for that little girl. 

Crafting was no longer what I did for fun. I was a full-time mom, I was working full-time and when you don't have time for everything, you make time for what is most important. 

Filling my time with our newborn daughter was the easiest choice I have ever made. Consequently, crafting slowed to almost a standstill. That blog was my crafting place, not my place to share my thoughts on life, motherhood, family, cooking, beliefs, etc. So, I stopped blogging. 

Fast forward to 6 months ago, I have been getting the itch/fever/prompting to blog again. Not about envelope pillow covers, or fancy wreaths, or DIY projects, but about what was filling my heart with so many thoughts and feelings. 

That started months ago! I am a slow learner I guess. So, last week, I decided to stop ignoring those feelings. To start a new blog, one that would allow me to grow. A blog that wouldn't limit me to wreaths and homemade decor. A blog about life. I thought and thought about what to call this new space of mine. The space were I hope to encourage, uplift, inspire, my place to be "real." My place to talk about motherhood, womanhood, thoughts and feelings, insights, lessons learned, and let's face it, there are going to be disaster days when Sahara is dumping the Apple Jacks onto the freshly-mopped floor, unfolding my perfectly sorted laundry, and tracking sand through the house after she finishes playing outside...or was that just yesterday?

I have been uplifted by this blogging community. I have laughed, cried, prayed, hoped and poured over he words of women I have never met, all because of this community of bloggers. "Today Find Joy" is my daily journey to smile over those spilled Apple Jacks and the successful nap times. It is my belief that every day there is at least one thing to smile about, this is my journey to record and recollect these good days and bad days, to be thankful.

It is my hope and prayer that you would stop by to be uplifted and inspired as I record these thoughts and feelings of the everyday life of a daughter, mother, wife, woman, and student of life.

This is Us

I'm Megan, welcome! 

I am wife to Josh and mom to Sahara. I love cooking, crafting, sewing, camping, walking, working and most of all, being a mother and wife. This life I have isn't what I expected, but much better. We have been so blessed and I am so thankful for these two people that are stuck with me.

Josh and I were married May 14th, 2011, these last three years have been lots of fun and effort and work, I am so thankful for every second.

Josh is studying Nuclear Engineering while I stay home with Sahara full time, and work full time from home. We wouldn't have it any other way!

Our daughter, Sahara Julie, was born on October 26th, 2012. That day was one of the most joy-filled days of our lives! We are so thankful for this special spirit that was sent to us. She is an absolute joy  to us and I am so thankful I get to spend every day with her.

We aren't perfect, we aren't fancy or famous, but this life we live is so happy, and blessed. We are thankful. I am thankful for this corner of the web I can call my own as we laugh, cry, grow, learn, and smile as we find joy in this crazy thing we call life. Thank you!